While I agree that the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do Unto You” seems to be a generally good idea (i.e.; being “nice, respectful, etc.”), but it comes with limitations, and in my opinion, one glaring issue…that of the belief that everybody wants to be treated the same.
I would like to propose an alternative to the Golden Rule, known as the Platinum Rule, which basically states, “Find out how people want to be treated, and then treat them THAT way!”
I have a question for you…do you like chocolate? Yeah, me too. But when I go fishing, I do not put a chocolate bar on the fish hook! I put a worm on the hook because FISH LIKE WORMS, NOT CHOCOLATE!
OK, the fish example was too obvious, and it doesn’t deal with human behavior, so let’s get to the heart of the matter…
I would like to share a HUMAN nature example to prove my point:
When I was the commanding officer of a nuclear capable, Rapid Deployment Force Field Artillery unit, I sought to reward outstanding behavior of my enlisted soldiers through a “Soldier of the Month” award. This wasn’t unique to my unit, you even see “Soldier of the Year” awards announced at the Army/Navy game every year. I remember one time while serving as the commanding officer that the next month’s soldier of the month, Private Williams, was the most unassuming and introverted soldier in my unit. I knew that he was petrified at the thought of standing in front of his peers at a large ceremony where he would get rewarded with a certificate.
I had the first sergeant have the soldier report to my office a couple of days before the ceremony and I told him he had won the soldier of the month award and asked if he would prefer receiving his certificate privately in my office or in front of his peers at a large formation.
He breathed a sigh of relief, thanked me for my consideration, and asked to receive the award in private. So that’s what I did. If I had employed the Golden Rule, I would have inappropriately stood him in front of the entire unit, like I would have requested if I had been in his shoes, and actually punished his ego for doing a great job, certainly not the desired result.
The best leaders in the world are servant leaders, or those who serve the people they supervise. Building trust is critical and only works when people in in organization, especially a military organization, feel that their leaders “have their backs.”
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